Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Misogamy and Me

When you are 21 and you already say you don't want to get married, people think you are out of your mind.

Or, they think that you are the stereotypical girl who will keep blabbering, but then some day will marry some guy who will "complete you".

Well, I am a 'tamil' who does not want to get married (at all) due to multiple reasons, which might be among the list that will follow. For some insights, I am, but not the typical girl. Not just to sound, be, act and seem different, but, I do have my own views on a few things like life and its contents. And I believe "marriage" is not a compulsory part of life.

When people ask me which school I study, I say, "What? I just finished college and I work right now!" when they ask when your marriage is (which is what the major part of the mass does) you say, "I'm not gonna get married". And they ask till when? For which you say, "Ever." And now,. is when they think you are CRAZY!

I perfectly understand that you might be thinking "She is going to laugh at herself when she will get/be married." And I don't blame it on you, because that is how everyone thinks. And all of you, sadly, think in the same way.

There are ample reasons you might 'hate marriage', or wait,. 'hate getting married' but you might love weddings or marriages. The following may/may not be the reasons, and 27 dresses might be the reason you love weddings.

1. You just love some'thing' else

When you are just too ambitious and you want to achieve your dream / career and the (so called) sophisticated and/or adventurous life,. marriage (as a part of self's life) will not even be a speck of your thoughts.

2. You've had bitter experiences with the cause itself

Love is the cause. You either fell in love and had a heavy doze or you've had a bitter experience with love itself. And you are scared that excess love is what marriage is all about. And you don't want any kind of love at all. That's also called being depressed and/or not expecting love.

3. You want no strings to be attached

This kindah gets to the first point. When you don't want anything to stop you even a bit, you will repel something that you think might tie you up. Let's assume you want to go on a tour, you think of nothing elser than the tickets to be booked, to and fro. You don't really care about the dates or about the people who accompany you. That is called being free or independent. When you want to live like that forever, marriage is out of the equation.

4. You are impossible

When you know for yourself no one will ever fall in love with someone like you, you realize you are 'impossible'. Marriage is all about understanding the other party and acting accordingly. You 'adjust'. When you don't want to 'adjust' and you want to be 'you', you will probably back off from marrying. These days people are getting more casual, which might be an advantage. But remember this is just one point, there are 19 more.

5. You know guys are impossible 

When you understand guys you will be amazed at the things they can do. Its astonishing how they can lie and make it the truth, instantly. They can convince you. They can show you extreme love and hatred. When you know all that, and more, you will not be able to imagine having a long term commitment with a guy. As I always say, not all guys are the same. There are a variety of men on this planet, just so erratic that you will be scared to choose one, that might be the best or the worst.

6. You think love is impossible 

Imagine a circumstance where you thought you were in love, and you realize that it meant nothing at all. You do not do what you are not sure of. I live by that. When you do not want to ruin anything or anyone's happiness. That is why you might not attempt to bring in love to your life. When you just can't act 'not you' infront of anyone, you ignore the so called 'pyaar'.

7. You are selfish

Selfish to an extreme where you want to live only for yourself and no one else, not even your own kids (about whom you cannot even think of). Five years down the lane, where do you see yourselves? Ask yourselves that. I see myself healthy and proud, touring and exploring new places and stuff. But just not married to someone and growing a kid.

I am not convinced with the fact of giving birth to a kid, watching it slowly grow and bear all that torture, predominantly at nights, send it to school, college and then be proud of it.

I know you are thinking, "Your parents might have done the same!". I can't really do anything about it, now, can I?

8. You are scared of 'kids' 

As you can read in the above paragraph, you just might be scared of kids and what they might do to you, be it your looks, or your life, or your dreams. I personally am concerned about the last two. I love cute kids and kids also love me for some reason, sometimes they are confused whether to call me akka or anna. And trust me, the best part is having a feel of kids from far.

9. You like going to marriages, but haven't felt the love for it

I personally love going to the 'grand pairing-event', specially because of the people there who will keep talking in-spite of the loud music and the oldies who will always be surprised on seeing me. And the best part is when the old people keep asking what you do and when you will get married. The worst part being the screaming kids/orchestra and the food, sometimes.

Marriages are okay, getting married is not. It is such a pain and just enough responsibility.

I'm NOT someone who hates responsibilities, but when you have a choice of not ruining one or two more souls and a life-long commitment,. I'd rather not.

When you don't want to write a huge post, you release a part 2, let's see if that will happen.

No reaction is expected out of this post. If you feel the same way, but you know you can't help it, you have my deepest condolences. If you feel the same way and you want to transform, all the very best to you. If you are already in this frequency, welcome me to the club. If you still feel I'm blabbering, I'd suggest you wait and watch.



  1. Good Article Indhuja, after reading this article, guys, and even parents would come to know about a girls' feeling and her conception of marriage :P

  2. Amazing!! I have similar thoughts..... OMG is it just 'US' or everybody thinks like that... looks like u wrote my mind out :)