People are a-maze-ing

People, to me, are like mazes.

I keep my circles small; Parents and the one I love. It ends there. Just three complicated mazes to run though. Perfect!

Mazes

Once you own this concept of people as mazes you tend to apply some logic on it. I think going around and exploring a maze is fun. But it always depends on a few things that are safe to know before you enter one -

Corners

You tend to find a few dusty dark corners, and if you want to try and clean them to find a way, you can go ahead and try to; Otherwise just leave it and try to find another way. Or you could just wait there, stranded in the dust and darkness, waiting for a sign or a call for help. Sometime mazes attempt to clean themselves too, you can try and help.

Familiarity

You don't always have to try and finish a maze. It's sometimes enough to just get used to it.

Company

Going into a maze with someone else, depends on the "someone" you're going in with. Do they know the maze well enough, or they think they know the maze well enough? There is a difference. A significant difference that directly influences on how you proceed with the maze.

Lobbies & Doors

Some mazes have a lobby and then a door. You do not have access to the maze. You only chill at the lobby. Sometimes depending on the weather in the maze you are allowed inside the door, but only when you knock. So don't forget to knock. Don't break the door. Just knock. Gently. Atleast twice.

Sometimes you can also try and talk to the door before you give up on the knocking.

Allowance

Sometimes there is the rare case of the maze trying to get used to you. If the maze shifts itself to allow you, it means it's ready to share the power and that it trusts you. What you do further will talk loads about what you really are, so make sure you treat the maze as your own.

Auto-bots

Mazes have their own bots that activate during isolation. Bots are trained by the maze to clean up, but not all bots enjoy isolation. And in the end, the pathways are either more clear or more hazy.

In summary

I don't seem to be curious enough to go beyond the door. I've pushed away a lot of people who knocked and I don't regret it; I did not need anyone, I still don't seem to.

It's 2018 and people seem to be very different from what they should've been like. 

People who shout that they "don't give a fuck" and "don't care", are definitely not my kind. Very outspoken isn't my thing either; you need to know how to talk, and to whom. If you think by being a "frank" person and telling every word you think and feel, you're just being a moron who does not value the other person in a 2-person conversation! The more people like this, the simpler it gets to just put up with them and be done with, that's like being in the lobby forever.

It just gets difficult to find one goddamn person who listens to you, leave alone having a decent conversation.  

I'm 27 now and I've lost most faith in humans. I don't seek acceptance, friendship, goodness or even humanity in people anymore. I'm not even curious anymore. But sometimes, just sometimes, there's somebody who comes into vicinity, lights up a candle of humanity and leaves. But since it's a candle, it tends to die out, as time goes by.

I still haven't found any interest or reason to indulge in a friendship, or a sibling-like relationship with anyone. I've been like this forever. It breaks my mom's heart that I turned out to be this way, but again it's impossible for me to act as if I care and call or message them, when I really can't bring myself to even think about another's problem. Yes, some call this selfishness, I know.

Keeping people comfortable in their own skin is something I make sure I do, because that's the best way to deal with anyone. That's my best shot at comfortably sitting in the couch, at the lobby. I'm also sorry that I don't knock.